I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
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They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
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He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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