brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
