yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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