I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
