whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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