my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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