i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
