What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
