Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
