Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
