I'm drive I can fine osifer
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
