they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Randomize
