Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
