When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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