i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
