I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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