oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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