just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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