Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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