apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
