i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I didn't notice because vodka
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I love you.
Bad choice
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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