words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
