No stitches, just platelets and will power
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
