I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
