hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
