So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
