Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
