Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
