hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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