i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
