i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Randomize
