i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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