At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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