6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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