Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
