i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
