We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
