My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
This show inspires me to have sex in space
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
