not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
