If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
