Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
you never un-have a 4some
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
