It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
