i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
