i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
