We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
