whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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