about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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