PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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