Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
