no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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