I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
