You're completely useless in the revolution.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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