He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
