My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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