You're so nebulous sometimes
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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