Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
