very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
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Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
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Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle