Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.

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(814): I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave. http://tfl.nu/ropw

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(917): View more from New York City

Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?

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(917 ): Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"? http://tfl.nu/0dpt

Replies (15) Good night (478) Bad night (2690)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.

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(804): I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work. http://tfl.nu/4b6j

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(817): View more from Texas

I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.

(817): View more from Texas

I guess it was more of a nightmare.

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(817): I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to. (817): I guess it was more of a nightmare. http://tfl.nu/fsml

Replies (60) Good night (935) Bad night (3937)
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(847): View more from Illinois

No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.

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(847): No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv. http://tfl.nu/ej96

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.

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(860): I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night. http://tfl.nu/69i0

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(719): View more from Colorado

He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet

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(719): He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet http://tfl.nu/3sfp

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.

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(505): Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath. http://tfl.nu/rm8d

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads

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(715): Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads http://tfl.nu/v7qu

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(315): View more from New York

Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.

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(315): Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes. http://tfl.nu/lvfu

Replies (3) Good night (2072) Bad night (861)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."

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(603): U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite." http://tfl.nu/bn94

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!

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(778): I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin! http://tfl.nu/eqwy

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(954): View more from Florida

I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in

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(954): I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in http://tfl.nu/4adg

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(509): View more from Washington

In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?

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(509): In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married? http://tfl.nu/eg0w

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(205): View more from Alabama

i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding

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(205): i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding http://tfl.nu/mji7

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