Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...