Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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